Dedicated to the Unknown King

I recently had great fun digging through my memory box.  My mom was good about saving stories that I wrote, school projects, cards that I made for family members, etc.

A couple things in particular made me laugh.  First, there’s this dedication page in a book that I wrote for a school project when I was 12.

SirRen

‘This book is dedicated to the unknown king, Sir Ren.’

I honestly have no recollection as to what inspired me to write this dedication.  Who in the world is Sir Ren?!  (Maybe I was a born Renly Baratheon supporter?)  I honestly don’t know.  I guess that’s what makes him the unknown king.

And then I came across this poem about Spam.  I don’t know how I will ever top my middle school self.  I mean, SPAM!  This could perhaps be the best writing of my career.

Uncle Sam

Old uncle Sam

Ate a lot of Spam

Spam, Spam, is all he ate

And in the end he met his fate

He took a trip to the grave

His can of Spam he did crave

So he came back as a ghost

Traveling from coast to coast

But all he could get was a rock from a cave

So, unsatisfied he crept back in his grave

Actual illustration from my poem.

Actual illustration from my poem.

Alright, I do sincerely hope that that’s not the BEST writing of my career but it was certainly worth a good laugh.

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